Groupon says…

Says Groupon, at the bottom of a car-detailing ad:

The Groupon Guide to: Monetary Conversions

The gallant globetrotter must have a firm grasp on the relative value of the currency in his or her billfold, cash clip, or velvet coin sack. Here’s a crash course:

  • 100 American dollars = 629 Chinese yuan
  • 20,000 Norwegian krone = 11 unsettling minutes in a cramped submersible exploring Norway’s Hornindalsvatnet Lake
  • The writhing horror you saw down there = tentacles belonging not to a beast of this age
  • The unrestful nightmares that have plagued you since = more than just dreams?
  • The later pages of your uncle’s journal = slowly descend into prophetic scrawls and disturbing pictograms
  • Confronting the living dread slumbering in the Hornindalsvatnet ? your sanity
  • If you are reading this = you have been driven mad. All hail the Timeless Ones!

So. Cthulhu’s napping in Norway? No wonder he’s still snoozing. Symptoms of hypothermia include “shivering, lethargy, confusion, apathy, delirium, heart rhythm irregularities, or coma.”

Also, this is probably the most useful economics intro I’ve seen in ages.

One Response to “Groupon says…”

  1. Kaiju says:


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